Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
