there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
