I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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