Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
birth control should be required to get into college
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
We have so much sex to catch up on
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
