Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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