she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just sucked dick on a ferry
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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