Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
