On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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