I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
