Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
