man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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