I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
