You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
