did you get engaged???
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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