I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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