Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
