I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
