brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
