i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
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