a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Randomize