i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
