Girls should come with a carfax report
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
