and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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