he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
