she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
