Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
