If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
