Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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