you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
