my vag is so smooth its legendary
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
