This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
