So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize