Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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