I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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