it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
