she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
