Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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