So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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