Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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