Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
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