We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
