im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
