Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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