I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
