when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
