They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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