Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
