3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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