Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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