Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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