just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize