Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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