It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
