I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
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