I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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