Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
im on a boat
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