do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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