Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
