I wish I could teleport
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
