On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
