dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm way too hungover for life right now
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
