i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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