Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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