Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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