I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
