three words: i give head
three words: not that well
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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